40th High School Reunion
Edmond, Oklahoma

EULOGY - EHS CLASS OF '64

Delivered by John Ingram, 26 June 2004

Thank you for allowing me to speak briefly on behalf of our friends who have gone on before us. I have many fond memories of my early life in Edmond, and it's always good to be back.

I'm sure most of you have heard of C. S. Lewis, the famous Oxford English professor who wrote Tales of Narnia and many other well-known literary works. He was a close friend of J. R. R. Tolkien and heard the first drafts of The Lord of the Rings in their small but prestigious writing group, The Inklings. Lewis and Tolkien were good friends for many years, just as many of us have been dear friends before, during, and after our time at EHS.

When C. S. Lewis was asked to give his eloquent address "Learning in Wartime" at the famous twelfth century Oxford University Church, he picked as his text the following: "My father was a Syrian, ready to die." Now I don't know about you, but of all the different texts available in the Bible, or any of the rest of the vast pool of great literature out there, that particular phrase would probably not have come to mind as the centerpiece for a talk. However, the two themes mentioned so far, friendship and death, are my assigned topics for this brief eulogy regarding the passing of our friends. In addition, Lewis' text from Deuteronomy (chapter 26, verse 5) "My father was a Syrian, ready to die", and the poem Thanatopsis, which we will hear in a few moments, both carry the common theme of preparation for death as a normal and desirable facet of a healthy and well-lived life.

Who would have believed that our good friend and outstanding EHS athlete Bobby John would not live to graduate with us? He was such a great guy, and that '57 Chevy was such a great car. Bobby's funeral is still one of the saddest events in my memory to this day. It seemed so unfair. He was so young and so wonderful. We all missed him so much, especially Jane Smith. I took Jane to the Junior Play after party at the Kessler's house there on Timberlane, but we both knew it wasn't a real date. She needed much more time to deal with a loss like that.

Since I went to all twelve grades in the Edmond public schools, I knew all of the people who have gone before us. I therefore have some personal knowledge regarding how dear and important each one was, even though I knew some better than others. Phyllis Hoelscher, a sweet and wonderful kid, was the youngest to leave our class, in 1961. Three others who were extensively involved with my life were Kristin Johnson Edmondson, Frankie Perry Hill, and Jerry Holloway.

Of course, for those of us who knew Kristin Johnson, it was obvious that there was just no better person. Kristin was too cute to be fair, too intelligent to seriously challenge, too talented to compete with; and yet, Kristin was as humble and sweet a person as I've ever known. Kristin was my accompanist for trumpet contests throughout junior high and high school. I NEVER had to worry about her part--she was always prepared, professional, and fun--I knew I could always count on her, and she never let me down, not once. We miss her, as well as her terrific husband, Jim.

Kristin was also the accompanist for Jerry Holloway, who died in 2001. Jerry and I battled over first chair trumpet, but not as enemies; rather, we were close friends, often playing duets together at contests, and trios with Shelby Howell. Dale Cauthen, our wonderful classmate who died in 1996, played baritone along with us in Mr. Robison's award winning symphonic winds band.

Frankie Perry Hill lived a block south of me on College Street for a while in grade school, the same block where Mary Smith later lived. Many happy hours were spent rambling around that big two-story house and playing Army games in the field behind with other kids in the neighborhood. We were all in awe of Frankie's father, Mr. Hill, due to his status as a "full-blood" Indian. We all thought that was so cool! "Full blood." WOW! I spoke to one of Frankie's relatives at the "Around the Corner" café last year, and we reminisced about what a wonderful person Frankie was throughout his life. Who would predict that Frankie wouldn't live to cross the railroad track where he was waiting, because something from the train would come loose unexpectedly? Another significant loss for all of us.

These are several of our classmates whom I knew particularly well. What more can I say? Time will fail me if I give similar descriptions of the nine others who have preceded us on the way we all must one day go, but I am privileged to give a brief mention to each one.

A brain tumor took our quiet but fun friend Roy J. Harrison, who rode the bus and married Jeannie White, one of my favorite clarinet players. I remember how excited Roy was when he got his first car, because he didn't have to ride the bus any more.

Bobby McLaughlin also rode the bus because he lived in the country with his grandparents. Bobby, nicknamed "Fag" for his beloved cigarettes, was an avid reader even in grade school, contributing to his later debate skills. A car accident on Christmas Day took Bobby from us in 1976.

Complications from diabetes ended the worthy and kind life of Barry Duffle, who showed me what could be accomplished through FFA, among many other things.

AIDS, that awful and devastating disease claimed the dear life of Jackie Walker, with his great sense of humor and his always accepting and friendly presence.

My father taught piano to most of the attractive, athletic, and talented Cherry children. They would come to our house on Saturday morning, all different ages "like a bunch of stairsteps", our parents would say. The loss of Carmen Cherry in 1990 under such difficult circumstances affected all of us who knew and loved her.

After taking Linda Every home at about 3:00 AM following the prom after party at Sherry and Sandy Graggs' wonderful home, Jimmy Pogue and I took off for Oklahoma City and ran out of gas. Fortunately, Curtis Hall picked us up off the Broadway Extension. We got home finally after dawn. I thought I would be in big trouble and Jimmy actually believed his parents would think it was funny. We were both wrong. My parents thought it was a hoot and Jimmy was grounded for a week. Jimmy left us last year, in 2003.

Partly because I live in California, I was unable to get more specific information about Debbie Wirth's demise from breast cancer in the 1990's or Betsy Nutt's death in 2002, but we all remember their beauty and sweetness. Ronnie McCune lived to see this new millennium, as he was with us until the year 2000. I want to give special thanks to Sherry Casto Bowman and others who were so helpful to me with the details I do have.

I'd like to close with the final lines of the poem Thanatopsis, which Mrs. Durham forced us to memorize our junior year under fear of death, or even worse, an "F". Carolgene McCallum Billen sat in front of me in that class, and she was kind enough to write it down for me, as I was not a serious student until many years after high school. To this day I still see this poem in her classic feminine penmanship, with her trendy red ink. I quote this passage here because it provides a poignant and insightful perspective on the issues raised in any eulogy: the ultimate issues of life and death.

This quote is taken from the Yale Handbook of American Verse where the poet William Cullen Bryant shares the following observations with us:

"So live, that when thy summons comes to join

the innumerable caravan which moves

to that mysterious realm where each shall take

his chamber in the silent halls of death,

thou go not, like the quarry slave at night,

scourged to his dungeon. But, sustained and soothed

by an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave

like one who wraps the drapery of his couch

around him, and lies down to pleasant dreams."

To all of you who have gone on before, we thank God for giving you to us, and for the memories we treasure from your time here with us on this earth.

Thank you, my friends from the Class of '64, for letting me be a spokesperson regarding our classmates who have already completed the earthly part of our human journey, and may God bless us as we continue on ours.

(Address delivered by John A. Ingram on June 26, 2004 to the 40-year reunion of the Edmond High School Class of 1964. The reunion was held at the Traditions Golf Center, Edmond, Oklahoma.)

Dale
Cauthen
 

Carmen
Cherry
 

Barry
Duffle
 

Roy
Harrison
 

Frank
Hill
 

Jerry
Holloway
 

Bobby
John
 

Kristin
Johnson
 

Ron
McCune

Bob
McLaughlin
in 1974

Betsy
Nutt
 

James
Pogue

Jackie
Walker
 

Debbie
Wirth